DUNIYA GORY HAI !

ESPN has bagged the rights of an International sporting event for the first time. The channel had 'Indianized' itself for its Indian viewers by airing certain programs in Hindi and giving everything an Indian feel.
So for the FIFA world cup'06 they have got Harsha Bogle the host. His ignorance about the game can only be matched by his baldness, which is losing out fast. He prefers calling teams by their jersy colour and players by their numbers. Whenever he makes up a simile which involves cricket, Jerry Armstrong (British commentator) starts thinking really hard "Should i laugh or not? Is this a funny hindi movie dialogue or Is this a reference to some cricket player's anatomy?'. He is sure about the fact that the game can be played with one's legs apart from that he is pretty much the-girl-who-heard-about-world-cup-and-came-on-to-support-brazil incarnation.
Then, everyday at 11.45 football lovers make sure they switch off the TV. They do not change channels and wait for the match to start. 'Duniya Goal Hai', with a pun that ranks right up there with 'Are yu relax singh' and 'Is this Ranchi?', has two hosts named Ranvir and Ajay. They can talk, so that accounts for one of their senses, the rest i am not sure of. The lean guy sometimes understands that 'in silence lies their honour' but the fat guy has a whole new concept of humour. Hope, the producers didn't have Laurel and Hardy in mind when they chose these two. To think on those lines, i doubt if they had something called the mind at all.
They also have this Rat-Race where they let a rat in a box. The rat through its athletic prowess predicts the winner of the match. I could compare this with the Tarot reader of Set Max, which complete my description about the 'Rat race'. I hope this is an improptu act, if not, i hope not to see the day when they do one.
Indianizing involves making it another unbearable bollywood masala flick. The hosts knowledge about the game is smaller than the smallest of mouth organ (yeah, the one which makes sound). It is like wrapping a chocolate up with tissues used in our bathroom. We all like the chocolate, what else can we do, wash it in the sink and have it.
Now, i am having the chocolate. I tastes, well somewhat bitter.So how does the god-fearing Indian go about now."I thank GOD and ESPN for giving me the chocolate and that too wrapped, there are millions who can't even get this, Thank GOD, Thank ESPN"