For a woman..

It did taste like salt. It was rolling all down my wretched face. Not over a woman. I have taken away the journey i had given her. I wiped my moist cheeks not knowing when it will flow over again. I offered her pain when i had nothing to give.It drips again, my thumb brushes it aside. I let her suffer for what i had done. Not a clown anymore? No, i doubt if i had ever been one. The eyes, they keep shrinking, pressing it out. I have not been living by any moral standards, not by any ideals. If it has hurt someone so much, i doubt if i have ever been living. I cannot see, they are standing right on the edges of my eyelashes, forming spheres, i see them now, right now. Not long time ago, i hurt someone, I did not know then. I guess i am capable of it, i believe so now. They do not need anyone's help, not mine anyways. I could see her face when she said 'Game over'.I had killed everything that had come into existence from the day we met. For some time my cheeks have been dry.I have given her a night of agony. How will i ever forgive myself? I have sinned. So it is me, as empty as that. So it is my self and i cannot even ask for forgiveness, for it is only for those who repent their sins. I do not even know mine. I am just the same ordinary 'guy' .I do not live by any codes, i have none at all. I have proved her wrong. I think that is it. Its cold! What can i do, to set it straight? Just keep it shut and no one ever shall feel any better.

I swear by the lady i love.I never meant to hurt anyone. When i cry, it is not for my wound but for hers. I was there, wasn't i? Didn't i always fool around? I want everyone to laugh. Everyone knows that! Was it a crime? She said so, i believe her, and she hasn't given me any reason to think otherwise. I never thought i could hurt anyone so bad. She wanted it to end; i told her i won't shed a drop. This way, i wailed all night. No one has seen me so unarmed.I refuse to use stronger words. Could i be capable of such an act? Could i repel someone so much? I am blinded, i cannot see the guilt.

All this for someone i have seen and talked to. I shudder to think of Her. What if i hurt or give her pain? How can i bare to see her cry? Tears in those eyes, i will want to tear myself apart. She, of all persons should be laughing and smiling, with the sun beating on her hair. I did not know the reason or didn't have one. Now i know why i stopped myself. I shall let her go, not me, not this cold-hearted bastard.

I shall go to sleep, I shall clutch my blankets hard. Something I can hold on to. May be I'll get up tomorrow and all this shall be a dream. I know it is reality. But I cannot help thinking it is just me. Thus, I shall stand alone. I shall leave everyone to mend their own walls. But why stand at all, for you are hurting the legs?

FOSSome!

"I'd give a big thumbs up to the spirit and the enthusiasm of the students. The organizers, all students, showed phenomenal passion and zeal. The hospitality was near perfect. There was always someone to take care of our needs." - by Kiruba. He had the biggest turn-out in FOSS.NITC. Aryabhatta was full. Trisha became more famous in kerala.



"NITC's FOSS event has grown in stature, and is quickly becoming one of the recognized FOSS events in India, along with Gnunify, Freedel and of course FOSS.IN....." - by Atul.


In quote and quote, by toolz (Interesting story how he got this name):

• "Give me net or let me die"
• "Ask not what you can do for the country, ask what's for lunch

His talk 'Foss and Business' was an eye-opener for lot of us, i have never listened to any lecture so hard, but ,missed lots of it b'cos of orgy. Toolz told me he'll upload the presentations on his site.

"As there was a large number of talks, not only had they to be `parallelized', but they also had to be scheduled from 8:30 in the morning to 10 O'clock at night! Kiruba Shankar's talk on blogging was the late night `hit'".-Pramod-ce


"How in such a short span of time these NITC Folks have managed to make FOSS.NITC a nationwide Community event”. Keep it up guys." - TuxManiac Aanjhan

"There was a great number of creative contribution from the delegates which made the one and a half hour to be the most contributed time in the FCI's history.Talking technical is an art, and its a fact. Thanks to the FOSS event @ NITC for making me understand that." - Hiran

"The organizers, students belonging to various branches in NITC, did a very nice job. This is their 3rd year of conducting the FOSS meet and they did show signs of maturity." - Parthan






"This time FOSS.NITC was really big with 40 speakers, 3 days full of FOSS activity."-Kushal

Shreyas hasn't updated his blog. RadioVerve was good and both his talks had packed halls. Shreyas and Tejas did show some child stuff with gmail and i bet Atul was waiting to pounce, steal Tejas's password.(for what VP of Geodesic has better work).
WIKIFACT: Password question of tejas 'What is my first girlfriend's dad's name?'

Pradeepto still hasn't blogged, but he too will have stories to tell about Kenneth Gonzalves who couldn't make it. Pradeepto was voted as 'The Most Popular Speaker'. He was infact one amongst us. Khurana and Pradeepto had a good time...really.


JACE was holied in campus. Hehe! His talk was much more enjoyed by Blog enthus in campus. Wish it had lasted longer. 'The beast was without his weapon, right then, i took mine and shot him down.'
His laptop was eyed by so many. Crisp and dreamy!

Monster on FOSS. A few more pictures....


We thank all the sponsors: IT Kerala Mission, IBM, Wipro, Idea,TTDC,Servo and the Stage-in-charge :Subashree ma'am & K.P.M. sir. Can you please address my attendance? Kiruba told us 'This is good college publicity, you must be paid for it'. True, all we ask is bring the attendance to mutual consultation.



'This is outrageous pricing! Come let us start extracashew.in"-Kiruba. "Radioverve will play music when you open the damn site"-Shreyas.

On the right, is Tejas. He is doing his 2nd year engg at PESIT,Bangalore.That made some heads turn.

That was Wipro with MS windows.This is FOSS, give me a break!


Obviously, there were loop-holes in the event. Parellel sessions gave delegates variety and the crowd was confused where to go. Thus turn-out was less on the halls. Wireless-Fidelity is not that important considered to tiling obselte places, raising walls etc. Publicity inside kerala was less. The blogging sessions were good and i threw up both names.

Mamachchans was good and evreyone liked it. Thanks Cheta! I met two of the best bloggers in the country. Kalyan Verma didn't turn up this time, due to his wildlife photography, bu there was JACE.So many minds, it was real fun.

Photo sets:
Tuxie; Hiran; JACE; Wingers (mine)